Once more with feeling. 

This last week has been an invigorating one for me, with a range of activities kick-starting my insides, like that pilot light that needs a bit of work, but eventually the blue returns. 

It began with Nocturnal animals at the cinema, seeing films filled with talent always gets my brain back into gear, this thriller drama was refreshing and engaging. 

The next thing was going alone to see my favourite theatre company perform Things I know to be true at Chichester Festival Theatre. I went alone, and this is not something I’ve done before. But I did it, with minimal discomfort, and a lot of thought provoking enjoyment because this is my passion.  Thought provoking theatre. With strong themes around family, ambition and values, it was an important reminder of how lucky I am to have a supportive network, despite different values.  

Fantastic Beasts and where to find them was my Friday night jaunt to the local 1920 cinema.  The film itself was perfect for losing yourself in a different world for an hour or so.  Because sometimes that’s just what your brain needs. 

Walking the dogs has provided me with an excuse to take a lunch break for a change.  The difference this makes to my head space, productivity and ability to get through the working week has been far greater than I thought. The wind in my face and the crisp air, blast my senses awake, dusting off the long term sleep deprived fatigue. 
Lastly, we went to see Arrival yesterday.   It was prolific in its storytelling, cinematic experience, demonstrating the importance of Communication in a world of fear.  I nearly cried within the first five minutes, but the film speaks on a far deeper level than that, leaving you deep in thought for quite some time.  

I want every week to feel like this, to feel rejuvenated and itching to have more exposure to those things that feed my soul. 

What has kick-started you this week? 

Gratitude diaries

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Today was a very ordinary day in the life of me, except one thing-how grateful i felt.

In the line of work I do, often it’s really easy to reflect on your own life with gratitude, simply because you see first hand how even the simplest of tasks are unachievable for people. But other times that burden of knowledge and exposure can have the adverse effect, causing a feeling of burden and guilt.

Today though, I felt grateful;
I am able to enjoy preparing food.
I got to drive through the countryside.
For the enjoyment of a hot chai tea.
Ophelia didn’t have a meltdown when my arms were too tired to carry her home.
The kisses my daughter gives me.
For tickets to say a proper goodbye to my favourite band.
For my cat for her cuddles.
Confirmation our window will be replaced next week.

And those pieces of gratitude have;
Taken my focus away from an emotionally draining working day.
Helped me forget that I missed out doing yoga and much needed “me” time as my daughter didn’t want to sleep.

Thank you gratitude.

Toddler hobbies: Yoga

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Ophelia has always been keen on yoga since around 14 months old, when she used to come home and tell me she wanted to do yoga….followed by attempting a downwards dog pose.
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Since leaving the Hove nursery, where she was evidently doing yoga regularly (God bless you Hove!), the Worthing nursery don’t seem to do it so often. 

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I recently stumbled across Cosmic kids yoga videos on YouTube, and they’ve become a regular part of our lives.  Ophelia loves every single one, although most surprisingly, Harry Potter is her favourite.
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Essentially it is yoga for kids, but along to a story with each yoga pose being relatable to the story e.g “the door opened”-there would be a yoga move mimicking a door with sound effects. 
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Yesterday we even found a Frozen one, complete with a terrible singalong to Let it go!But Ophelia especially loved the move for Olaf and mimicking Elsa freezing things. As you can tell, not sure they’re calming videos! Having said that, there are specific bed time ones, which definitely are less rambunctious.

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I think this is the perfect age to get kids into yoga.  Ophelia loves copying words and movements so is really engaged, and I love the way she tries to do moves even when she’s finding it difficult. But my favourite thing has got to be, when she out of the blood just did “NAMASTE” by action and word.

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I’ve obviously got a real yogi on my hands!

Learning that less is more

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This poor blog has been rather neglected for quite some time. Many reasons have led to this, not least lack of time, a step back from technology time and a loss of passion. These all feed into a change of perspective.

You see, last year was the year I realised something had to change. I couldn’t carry on working myself sick, I couldn’t carry on trying to spread myself as thin as ice, I couldn’t carry on feeling guilt about everything.

So I stopped. Took a physical and emotional step back. This step back has been the catalyst for some massive psychological changes around here, and it had to be.  You see, last June and subsequent months, I had what my Neurologist now suspects is a retinal anorism (although I’m awaiting MRI scans) associated with migraines.

When something happens in your life, it’s only natural you reevaluate things, none more so when it’s lifestyle related. Something had to give, but what?

I had to learn to let go. Before now I had been so consumed by not feeling like a good enough worker, mother, friend, family member, person-which then led to me behaving or doing things in order to rectify that, e.g constantly communicating with people, trying to arrange seeing people all the time, working outside work hours, getting stressed when the house was untidy. It was exhausting!Or was that the lack of sleep?! Who knows!

I focused on what I felt was most important to expel my energy on and tried not to worry about the others.
It has also really helped that my phone is broken so writing texts or using apps is mostly not possible! The downside of this is that I come across as…apathetic? Breezy? Callum often accuses me of not caring about things around the house. I do, but I’ve just learnt to acknowledge it and remember worrying about it, isn’t going to achieve anything. This is quite a revolution for me, often called ‘worry wart’ by my Mum.

Learning to worry less is not easy, it has meant a big shift and refocus in my train of thought. I’ve had to accept that at the moment, I need to focus on getting Ophelia to sleep, so staying in to focus on that in evenings has to take priority, even if I’m desperate for social interaction.

Whilst these sacrifices will be short lived, I hope my health isn’t.